Abstract's Vampire Journal

Abstract's Journal

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4 entries this month

← May 2010

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PRIVATE ENTRY
22:20 Jun 23 2010
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• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

17:56 Jun 20 2010
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Ok, so today is Fathers Day.

My real father is on my facebook profile, even though he denies that he is my father...he still is.

If I wish him a happy fathers day, I would feel awkward.

I haven't had to deal with this day since my grandfather passed away a few years ago. :/

COMMENTS

04:56 Jun 15 2010
Times Read: 731

Well, last night was pretty interesting to say the least.

My mother messages me on msn (she got one to help keep in touch with me when I move) and she tells me that she needs help and advice.

Now she never asks for that from me, she rarely tells me anything. But she tells me that her biopsy hole from 10 years ago is bleeding and she feels a lump in her breast again.

Lumps are never a good thing given her history. She has has breast cancer 3 times. Lumps typically mean...oh fuck.

So I tell her that she should go to the hospital as it is midnight. She refuses and asks if I would be ok with her just going to the doctor in the morning instead. I figured it would be ok since she wasn't gushing blood and a few hours won't kill her.

Well, now I'm conflicted. She mentioned a few days ago that she is a bit upset that I'm moving halfway across country away from her and the family. Now this comes up and I see what difficulty it is going to be to support her from a distance. I'm not going to put off my move. I love my mother to death, but I need to move. I need to start my new life. I will be willing to take any phone calls and fly back should something go wrong. But how do I tell her this?

I know she wants me to stay, and part of me does want to stay for this. But I can't bring myself to do so.

:/

COMMENTS

Vampirewitch39
00:55 Jun 16 2010

Let's say you stay.. then what? Treatments, healing. That takes time. And the more she goes under the knife, or takes the treatments...the longer it will take to heal.

I am just saying... are you willing to put your life on hold?

Abstract
06:02 Jun 16 2010

Well after a long talk with her this afternoon she understands why I have to move.

I can get help up there and not down here. She wants me to get better myself so she is ok with it now.